Lingering Contradictions and Confusions

If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.

-Tom Peters



Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

-John Wooden



To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.

-Oliver Wendell Holmes



What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.

-Victor Frankl



I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

-Gilda Radner



i just arrived from the bodega's greatest activity so far...Pangasinan Gastro...

sa totoo lang inaantok pa ako and i'm in no mood for any posts...heck i don't have any computing equipment (ie. PC), nor photos for a good post, nor inspiration to do so, nor environmental convenience to do so...but still i did...ndi ko alam kung bakit but i did.



actually maglalaro lang sana ako at magaayos ng blog layout...but when i put in the "howling tape", i began to incorporate what had happened to me to what i'm feeling to what i'm thinking and to what i'm listening to. and i started to recall every little thing i want to say since time in memorial. ika nga ni kissables (see kissescomics.blogspot.com: issue 88) "Pucha!" Here i go again, ang dakilang pala isip. ayoko kasing magdrama at magsabog ng emotions...lalo na sa blog, but from where i'm standing e parang ito lang ang meron ako. i do have friends, family and a very long shot chance to a certain person, pero hindi ko alam kong bakit hindi ako magsalita. madaldal ako alam nyu yun. but i came to realize na i'm someone who talks a lot who doesn't really say anything. gets? with that said, i'm a god-forbiding worst case of suicidal freak of nature. but not today...it's gastro layout day...at least sa blog na 'to.



as i was saying before i was rudely interupted by myself, galing nga kaming gastro. ang saya!

PUCHA! sabi ko nga kay tessalonica, "In times like these i'm proud and glad na nakapasok ako ng builder!" and it's true. the whole activity is a blast. let me count the ways it is so:



-Bonding kung bonding. i think it is safe to say na ang pinaka nakabonding ko e sina Dohtz dahil sa pamamalengke e nakita ko ang independent yet fun side niya, sa cooking, naaasar ko siya in a way i never thought would work, sa idle moments e we had laughs and side emos, at Sir Ean dahil sa pix taking, art kung art ang mga kuha, kay Juday/DUGE, na napaka lambing at cute, frisbee playing na dive kung dive, inuman session (PARE!), pusoy, na kung saan siya isang malupet na hassler, at sa sand things making, fire in the hole, air attack at shotgun squad...haha! Siyempre bond pa rin sa lahat like the cooking session ko with Sir Armand, the improving values and friendship with Nash, Lokohan blues with Bhadz, Stephen at Sir Nico, na hindi ko akalaing magwowork...but it did...,Allan with the "ang gaan ng feeling" session niya pati na rin sa mga photo ops, Ninong na kahit nagkasakit siya e nakabawi nmn nung second day...the eagle is approaching...hehe, at kay Tessa, na in spite na puro tulog lang siya at mejo hindi ko mashado naramdaman ang pressence niya e i still had the time to joke around and talk with her, lalo na dun sa...(next item)



-Bull session to the exsaspirating level. lahat ay nagkasabihan ng mga saloobin at damdamin. it is something na kailngan talaga ng bodega. it is the first for tnb and i hope that it runs in the blood of the next higher ups. the activity is indeed a good excercise for working people's relationship. lalo na sa ganitong klaseng trabaho, trusts, cooperation, strong relationships and effective bonds are necessary to get the machine up and running. un nga, lumabas na ang mga hinanakit, problema at confusions ng bawat isa sa kapwa. i had shocks with some people, gratitude with others and even high regards with some. i was shocked with sir ean's and sir armand's physical bickering on the second day, martial arts application, balcony death dance and photographic misunderstanding ang key terms ng issue na yun. Bhadz had a lot of sharp comments to all of us and it truly was a shock-monster for Sir Nico, Ma-reklamo for the juniors, seniority qualms for his editor batch mates. it truly was an eye opener for me. nabilib naman ako sa speech ni sir onics about his way of leadership. since most of us see a troubled reign, he justified his actions and personally, i do understand where he's coming from. in fact, kung ako ang mapunta sa lugar niya, i would do the same. then again i was grateful with the turn of events kasi nailabas ko nmn ang sama ng loob ko and i think the issues i had with nash and dothz are over. salamat den at least nakikita nila ang efforts ko and such acknowledgement do lift you up. so i have to prove my worth and continue what i do.

-the inuman part was a shocker. everyone had a lot except sa hindi tomador at kay ninong na may sakit at kay sir nico na i doubt tinamaan den. smoker na rin sina badhz at sir ean...haha...xnxa na kung may mabuking... we had a lot of laughs at serious talks. kasu unti-unting kaming nalagas as allan and nash gave in sa tama. after that e chikahang lalake na...let's just leave it at that...PARE!!! wahahahaha!!!

- ang ganda ng lugar the scenery was great, awesome in fact. ang daming pwede for artistic shots. the rooms were cozy. ang nega lang tlga ay ang beach na may nangungurot na alagad ni ate anna. haha...katuwa pa kasi nung second day e sobrang nag-low tide at lumayo ang dagat. ganda tuloy mag sand thingy making. kakatawa lang kasi kada tapak e may parang gumagapang. tawa ako ng tawa pag kinikilabutan sa kada tapak nila stephen at nash e...parang nakatapak ng ipis sa dagat. all in all ang lufets ng lugar.

-personally natuwa ako sa independence ng grupo. we were able to push through with the activity smoothly. financially, ambag lng ng P100 ang excess but that is nothing compared to the experience we had. yung pinamalengke pa e may extra, andami food, overflowing in fact, tapos the turn out e we had better relationship. hindi pa tlga ma-sure kung the gastro did strengthen our bond. it will be evident until we meet again next term at magtrabaho. but i am really postive that it will.

hindi ko actually ma sum up ang buong gastro in one short post. my gastro experience will continue in my posts and in my life as such is unforgettable. kung pwede lang puro pix ang i-post ko e...yun cguro sa part 2 ng post ko...i know lahat ng taga-bodega e may kanya-kanyang post. looking forward to reads other's insights. then again this is mine and the list may go on for years. period muna dito kasi lahat ng pix e nasa bodega pa e...i'll hunt more some other time.

...signing off...